MckMama: putting one foot in front of the other

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

putting one foot in front of the other

Prince Charming and I spent almost the entire day today alone with our children, enjoying them and savoring sweet time as a family. Tonight, there are children in our bed and we wouldn't have it any other way.

A giant family snuggle has been just what the doctor ordered.

I have been (slowly) processing a lot of my thoughts about this upcoming season in our lives...this trip to Children's Hospital Boston tomorrow with a probable cardiac ablation for Stellan there on Tuesday. But none of my thoughts are in concrete enough fashion for me to be able to put pen to paper with just yet.

So instead, I'll just be putting one foot in front of the other.

Tomorrow, Stellan and I will fly to Boston, to get him into some of the finest pediatric cardiological hands in all the world. That's step one. I can do that. Just get him there. That is all I need to worry about for tomorrow. The rest, well, we'll tackle that when it comes.

For now, I am just putting one foot in front of the other.

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I used to think I was defined by my cloth diapering, babywearing, organic eating, acrylic painting, fast talking, vaccination delaying, color obsessing, Frozen Tundra residing, nose piercing, frequent blogging, homeschooling, amateur gardening, baby food making, photograph taking, faraway traveling, baby making, high school swimming, tattoo designing, medical detail memorizing, non-circumcising, country living, college soccer playing, small government believing, pro-life advocating, television abandoning, extended breastfeeding, German speaking, deep thinking, former art teaching and baby cosleeping ways.

Now, although I may choose to still do those things, I will simply be myself, an imperfect mother, wife to my Prince. I am learning as I go and so thankful for God's forgiveness.

Prince Charming is my manly husband, Daddy to our Many Small Children. We have known each other since infancy and have been married for 6 years.

Our marriage has not been without it's extreme ups and downs. We were about as close to divorcing as you can come during the time we were pregnant with our son Stellan. We nearly let our struggles rip us apart, but with our amazing marriage counselor's help, we clung to God's will for our marriage and are still together.

We have a brand new idea about what marriage is. I am in love with my husband all over again. He is insanely forgiving, patient and long suffering. He strives to know God more and wants to be an awesome example for our children. I love that my husband is real with others about his shortcomings and flaws. He doesn't hide behind a veil pretending he's someone he's not.

And I'm not afraid to toot his horn about how amazing he is, either. He is a wonderful communicator, makes fabulous bacon and is righteously funny. He's a good friend, a passionate husband and a devoted father.

Prince Charming loves to work in the garage with our boys, wants to get back into Karate and is a great Jet Skier. He was a world class runner when he was younger and is a world class man now. He loves meat, music and conservative talk radio. I am committed to him forever and am so glad he doesn't make me put the worms on his fishing hooks!

Big Mac is our firstborn, our multi-faceted son K. At age 5, he handles his role of biggest brother impressively well. Big Mac cares for his siblings intensely, is astonishingly independent and amazes us with his deep thinking.

He is thoughtful, creative, patient, inventive and interested in how mechanical things work. He loves to build and construct and is relatively obsessed with his mother, who is very similar to him in personality. You can often find Big Mac digging in the sandbox, dressed in homemade costumes or eating carrots and hummus.

Small Fry is our spirited little 2 year old daughter M. To our otherwise masculine brood of offspring, she adds a touch of feminine sweetness. Our blue eyed beauty loves to wear her baby dolls in a sling, dotes on her big brothers and plays mommy with her little one.

You can often find her playing with her dollhouse or fishing the Chapstick out of my purse. She puts bows in her hair when she is supposed to be napping. Small Fry is spirited, very talkative and sleeps in a raspberry colored bedroom with her baby doll, Ruby.

MckMuffin is our 1 year old miracle son Stellan. When I was 22 weeks pregnant with him, he was in heart failure. He had SVT, Hydrops fetalis and heart block. At 24 weeks we were told there was no hope for our son, whose heart would not respond to medication. Stellan would be stillborn. We embarked on a journey of faith like nothing we could have ever imagined.

God blew us away with Stellan's miraculous recovery. He was born alive, healthy and with no sign of SVT! His doctors were sure he had outgrown it and we took him home.

When Stellan was 4 months old, he began to suffer from SVT again. Our faith walk deepened as we clung to God. Stellan was hospitalized for 6 weeks and had a risky, unsuccessful ablation performed in Boston. Between then and when he turned one, Stellan had a hospitalization in the ICU every single month.

When Stellan's SVT got so bad that we nearly lost him a few times, once when he coded on the table mere days after he turned 1, he had another emergency ablation. Although the outlook was grim and the hope for complete success was slim, we put our son in God's hands again.

Why God chose to heal our son on earth is something we cannot fathom. But He did. Stellan's second ablation was a rip roaring success and he has been free from SVT since November 9, 2009 with no permanent damage to his heart.

Stellan is the light of our lives. A dimpled darling, he loves to cuddle, giggle and be doted on by his three older siblings. We have vowed to never stop praising God for the miracle that Stellan is.

MckMama

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

putting one foot in front of the other

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