Not Me! Monday

I am cringing that this is my last Not Me! Monday in which I will be 9 months pregnant. Meaning, I won't be able to write off my Not Me's! to my pregnant state anymore!

But, for one last week, while I can still get away with it, I offer you what this pregnant lady most certainly did not do this past week:

When getting ready to go out and meet up with my husband, I did not decide that he deserved a little bit less, ahem, homely looking of a wife. To that end, I didn't quickly grab my makeup bag and take it with me, with the intention of putting some on in the car. Upon starting to put makeup on in the car, I did not realize that I had no sponge applicator for my pressed foundation. Really wanting to powder my shiny nose before meeting Prince Charming, I did not become ridiculously resourceful and locate an old--clean--pantyliner and use it to apply the powder. I didn't work really well and I ended up not feeling homely in the least!!!

I did not wake 8 times last night to use the bathroom, groaning like a granny each time I eased my achy body out of bed. And, out of desperation, I did not actually say to myself during one of these times that, "I wish I was just wearing a diaper" and then honestly spend a few moments contemplating exactly how much urine a diaper could hold.

When our friend was planning to watch our kids one day this week so I could go to a doctor's appointment and also get some work done, I did not become desperate when attempting to leave the house when I was unable to locate a bra. My favorite maternity tank/bra was in the wash and I didn't just decide to grab it, even though it was wet. I did not stop at the coffee shop first to pay some bills before heading downtown for my appointment. And, because I was bra-less, I certainly didn't just sit all hunched over so no one would notice. And, so that by the time I had to go to my appointment, I would be undergarment-ready, I did not just drape my damp piece of maternity lingerie over the back of the leather chair I was sitting in at the coffee shop so it could dry out. Nope! Not me!

The morning after one of Small Fry's very last nights sleeping in our closet, I had to leave really early, before she woke. I hadn't thought of grabbing an outfit the night before, and I was stuck with nothing to wear. My jeans from the night before were on the floor, underwear and bras were in the dresser in our room, but I couldn't get a shirt from our closet without risking waking Small Fry. It wasn't a risk I wanted to take. So I most certainly did not just leave the house for the morning and attend my meeting wearing no shirt, but only my pink spring coat, all buttoned up over my bra.

We do not have only two more days to go before we all meet Stellan and see more of God's will unfolding before our eyes!! Oh, wait, we do!!!!

And now, it's your turn!!!

Please take a refresher course in Not Me! Monday's official rules if you'd like to participate. And, trust me on this, once you go Not Me! you'll never go back. It's free therapy at its funniest!

Link up here after you have posted your Not Me! Monday post. Mr. Linky will close without warning sometime late (CST) on Monday, so speak now or until next week hold your peace!!



UPDATED: Mr. Linky is closed for the week. Thanks for playing along! See you next Monday!